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It began in 2010. I was working in my office cabin and suddenly felt an itch behind my right ear. I asked a colleague to check it, and she told me I had a round patch with no hair. The same day, I consulted a doctor. He gave me some medicines and asked me to consult after twenty days. On the next visit, I had more patches over my head. Within 8-10 months, I lost all my hair and was diagnosed with Alopecia Universal, i.e., I have no hair in my entire body.
It was just a disorder, but the people around me made it feel like a sin. Some gave me disgusting looks, some referred to me as an ill omen, and some made fun of me by passing rude comments. I tried everything. Consulted a lot of doctors. For five years, not a single day went by when I didn’t take medicines. Without hair, it felt like I wasn’t wearing clothes. I couldn’t talk to people while having an eye contact with them. I struggled to accept the disorder, and the judgemental society made it more challenging. All these things take a toll on my mental health. Along with the disease, I fought with depression. And in 2015, I decided to quit life.
I still remember the night. It was around 3:30 a.m. I kept a table just below the fan. I took my dupatta, and a thought crossed my mind the moment I was about to take the heart-wrenching step. It was about my child, Kunj and Punyaja. How will they feel seeing me hanging from the fan? How will they put down my dead body? Will they call the police? How will they get the number? They were still kids then. For five years, I had experienced the trauma of depression. I didn’t want them to spend sleepless nights. I didn’t want them to wake up at midnight at the sight of me hanging from the fan. So, I changed my mind, and since that moment, I decided to live for my children and work towards creating awareness about Alopecia till my last breath.
Now, through social media, I’ve counselled more than 700 people. Listening to each of them has made me realise the sick mentality of our society. Some are divorced due to the disorder. Someone’s partner doesn’t want to have a physical relationship as they feel disgusted to have sex with a bald partner. Someone has barely left her house six times over sixty years. And many more!
You know, there are support groups in foreign countries to help Alopecia patients. Like in festivals, they invite the whole family to a party. But unfortunately, in India, even the victim’s family members turn into demons for the victim. I hope someday in India, we’ll also have support groups for Alopecia patients. I hope, eventually, everyone will be aware of the disorder. Like it isn’t contagious or a sign of an ill omen. It’s just a disorder, and we are normal people. We may be bald, but we are beautiful!
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